A quiet morning at the cafe near my house.
I sat by the window and wrote on my laptop while sipping a hot Americano.
Across the room, a man and a woman sat facing each other, both quietly looking at their phones.
Yesterday afternoon, the same cafe had felt completely different.
Hahahahahaha!
And then, almost like crying.
I looked around.
A man and a woman at a nearby table had been talking loudly.
They seemed to be having a wonderful time. Then her voice changed.
Is she crying?
The man’s voice remained calm.
A little later, they were laughing again.
Their conversation continued for more than an hour.
No one else seemed particularly bothered.
People really are different.
When my daughter and I come to a cafe together, we often spend our time very differently.
She does her thing.
I do mine.
Every now and then, one of us says something.
We talk for a moment.
Then we go back to whatever we were doing.
That’s usually enough.
I don’t need to look at another table and wonder,
Do we not talk enough?
Big Headphones
A few days earlier, I noticed a young mother sitting across from her daughter.
They were both wearing the same big headphones, completely absorbed in their phones.
Once in a while, they exchanged a few words.
Then both went right back to their screens.
Maybe they’re playing a game.
Suddenly, I remembered something my husband had said.
“An older woman walked out wearing big headphones, like a young person.”
Not long ago, a friend had invited him to see a rock band perform at a live music cafe.
The next day, I asked him how the show had been.
“Her voice was a little weak.”
He told me that an actress who usually performed in musicals had formed a band for the show. She sang and talked for over an hour.
But he ended up talking more about an older woman who had been sitting next to his friend.
“I think I’ve seen her somewhere before,” he said.
She and his friend had talked briefly during the show, and when she left, she put on big headphones.
“At her age, wearing headphones like that.”
He sounded as if something about it didn’t quite fit.
A Children’s Show
It made me think of an older woman at a restaurant my daughter and I once wandered into.
“Do you have naengmyeon?” I asked.
“Yes. But I don’t have any eggs ready. I’ll have to boil some, so you’ll have to wait.”
“It’s okay without the egg. We can wait.”
It was actually a meat restaurant.
There were no other customers, and as we watched her slicing meat with a machine, my daughter and I looked at each other.
“Should we have some meat?”
We ordered some beef.
I noticed the large TV in the restaurant.
“Oh. It’s a children’s show.”
My daughter laughed.
“Mom, you cried watching Conan.”
“Yes. But it was so moving.”
Haha.
We grilled the beef and had naengmyeon with a boiled egg after all.
Everything was delicious.
I had seen plenty of restaurants playing news or entertainment shows.
But I’d never seen one with a children’s show on.
I hardly watch TV anymore, but years ago, I sometimes watched children’s animation too.
Other programs could make me feel even more tired.
The TV Was Off
That memory led me to another restaurant.
My daughter and I had gone to see the sea and happened to stop at a small restaurant in the afternoon.
There were no other customers.
A middle-aged woman was sitting at a table doing something when we walked in.
She got up and reached for the TV as we sat down.
“Oh, you don’t have to turn it on for us.”
“Really? I just turned it off. I actually prefer it without the TV, but customers usually want it on.”
My daughter had never tried snow crab before, so she ordered it. I ordered mulhoe, a cold raw fish dish.
While we waited for our food, I looked around.
There were handmade paper crafts and paintings displayed around the restaurant, some with prices attached.
Oh. She makes these.
The food arrived.
It was simple and delicious.
She’s good at cooking too.
While we ate, she went back to the table where she had been sitting.
She was drawing.
The whole restaurant felt peaceful.
After lunch, my daughter and I walked down to the beach.
The swimming season had just begun, but there were hardly any people there.
We took off our socks and stepped into the water.
“Oh! The water is so cold!”
We stood there for a little while with our feet in the sea, laughing.
I think about all of this as I write.
Across the room, the man and woman are still quietly looking at their phones.
I smile.
Maybe this is where I want to end.
I don’t have to look at someone else’s way and ask whether mine should look more like theirs.
