This morning,
I walked to my car
to drive to my favorite café.
As I reached
the parking lot,
I smiled.
I had parked in
almost the exact same spot
as the day before.
Only then
did I realize
how often
I parked there.
Then
I remembered
yesterday.
My daughter and I
had looked toward that area.
A large SUV
was blocking the view.
I leaned to look behind it.
Still nothing.
“Our car isn’t there,”
my daughter said.
“Maybe I parked
somewhere else.”
We checked
another area first.
Only later
did we come back,
walk a little farther,
and find my car.
It had been there all along.
It Felt Like a New Problem
This morning,
looking at the parking space,
something finally became clear.
That wasn’t a new problem.
It was an old pattern.
The interesting part was this:
Old patterns
never feel old.
Each time,
it felt completely new.
My car isn’t here.
Something is wrong.
What’s happening?
None of those thoughts
felt familiar.
They simply felt true.
Mid-point
It didn’t feel
like an old pattern.
It felt
like reality.
For a moment,
I wasn’t seeing
reality.
I didn’t know
it was
an old pattern.
That’s why
old patterns are so difficult
to notice.
They don’t
introduce themselves.
They arrive
as if they’re happening
for the first time.
These days,
I don’t always believe
the first thing
my mind says.
Sometimes,
I simply walk
a little farther.
And quite often,
that’s where
reality is waiting.
The Pattern Returned
Later that evening,
I smiled.
My husband
looked tired
after work.
Almost immediately,
my mind
started looking
for reasons.
Maybe something happened.
Maybe the heat exhausted him.
Maybe I should make bone broth.
The thoughts felt new.
But they weren’t.
They were simply another old pattern.
This time,
instead of planning
around that story,
I just noticed
those thoughts
were another old pattern.
I didn’t have to fix
anything yet.
That alone felt different.
The pattern
had appeared.
But this time,
it didn’t get to decide
what I would do.
